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Fitz [09 Feb 2014|12:10pm]
“You'll find another.'
God! Banish the thought. Why don't you tell me that 'if the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you'? No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody.”
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and i intend to do just that. [12 Nov 2013|06:51pm]
My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.
~ Falsely yours

Charles Bukowski
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Fox Theatre delight [13 Apr 2013|12:54pm]
Travelling swallowing Dramamine
Feeling spaced breathing out listerine
I'd said what I'd said that I'd tell ya
And that you'd killed the better part of me
If you could just milk it for everything
I've said what I'd said and you know what I mean
But I still can't focus on anything
We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves
Travelling swallowing dramamine
Look at your face like you're killed in a dream
And you think you've figured out everything
I think I know my geography pretty damn well
You say what you need so you'll get more
If you could just milk it for everything
I've said what I said and you know what I mean
But I can't still focus on anything
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hank. [19 Dec 2012|11:51pm]
Now you know that I know
That you ain’t no good
And you wouldn’t
Tell the truth
Even if you could
Lying is a habit
You practice wherever you go
Well, you may fool the rest of this world
But you know that I know
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physics [26 Nov 2012|09:24pm]
And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.
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1939-2012 [13 Nov 2012|08:21am]

I love you, dad.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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[01 Oct 2012|04:35pm]

This year has been one of the hardest for me. And my family. When will things stop, settle down? I'm so tired of hearing everything happens for a reason. No, it doesn't. And right now I'm having a really hard time believing in anything.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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[26 Aug 2012|04:49pm]
Train roll on, on down the line,
Won't you please take me far, far away.
Now I feel the wind blow, outside my door,
I'm leavin' my woman at home, oh yeah.
Tuesday's gone with the wind,
My baby's gone, gone with the wind.
And I don't know, oh, where I'm goin'.
I just want to be left alone.
When this train ends, I'll try again.
I'm leavin' my woman at home.
My baby's gone

Tuesday's gone with the wind.
Tuesday's gone with the wind.
Tuesday's gone with the wind.
My baby's gone, with the wind.
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Remember: [25 Aug 2012|04:35pm]
To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.
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[11 Aug 2012|08:07pm]
Clementine: Joely?
Joel: Yeah Tangerine?
Clementine: Am I ugly?
Joel: Uh-uh.
Clementine: When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.

Joel: [kisses Clementine] You're pretty.
Clementine: Joely, don't ever leave me.
Joel: You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...
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new day. [04 Feb 2012|10:39am]
and im back on.
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[31 Jan 2012|08:26pm]
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
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[10 Jan 2012|07:13pm]
entry Sept 14th, 2010.

what happened?

i miss you. us. how we were.

its gone.
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[02 Jan 2012|09:57am]
i was so proud just to have you sitting with me
but now it's over and i can't stay sober
pour and swallow follow one drink with another
i'll keep on til you agree to come back over
or until there are x's on my eyes
my old man always swore that hell would have no flame
just a front row seat to watch your true love pack her things and drive away
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[30 Nov 2011|09:34pm]
just when you thought your life sucks, walking around being mopey you get smacked back into reality.

i have to remember to be thankful.
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take it all. [24 Jun 2011|07:13am]
fuck you, adele.
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[10 Jun 2011|03:48pm]
[ mood | sad ]

you have completely broken my heart.

guess we didnt keep all of those movie ticket stubs.

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you are my blue valentine. [10 Jun 2011|12:44am]
And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.

...nobody baby but you and me
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[08 May 2011|10:13pm]
[ mood | happy ]

You are
And I am
You are
And I am
You are
And I am
You are
And I am

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awake, again. [02 Mar 2011|12:26am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

i have never felt so much disdain for someone as i do my sister.
she is a waste, in every sense of the word.

counting down the days i can leave here and not come back.

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